Motorcycle Green Slip
Another prose painting…a true story from “Isle de Ladrones”.?
No myth, this dragon, spotted green on green
Monitor of Guam’s think tangan-tangan,
Low and sleek, undulating nose to tail,
Silent, cunning hunter of shrews,
Only the boar, and man, his equal,
Bursts on to the trail with speed alarming,
Northwest Field, unhunted for decades,
A dangerless oasis where life can mature,
Five feet long, this one!
Two hundred pounds, thirty miles per hour,
I yielded the path, letting him lead,
Weaving a palm tree slalom I could not follow,
I slowed to a stop as the canopy lowered,
He moved through the jungle as the master,
I stayed to watch him slip out of sight,
Yet he turned to me, as if to ask for another motorcycle chase.
That shift is to indicate the passage of time. He’s extinct, I’m too old to ride a motorcycle at 50 MPH through the jungles of Guam.
How did you manage to make it both
SWEET
and
POWERFUL?
The drive, drive, energy of the meter is almost sexual; it’s vital, alive, the words, the energy–they have a life beyond what you’re saying.
It really has a CHARM to it; it’s lovely, T.D. Quite wonderful and magical. (And you know I’m usually so critical–I love this.)
It’s something that could become a whole book of poems to tell the one story, a true epic. So special….
I wonder about ending this first one with, “as if to ask….”
Just a thought…. (and he can’t turn to you AFTER out of sight)
Maybe
He moved through the wild as the master (I don’t like jungle for some reason, nothing special–too specific for the magic here, maybe)
And no more you…. Stay on him…. Maybe???
He moved through the wild as the master,
Slipped out of my sight
But not before, as if to ask for
No, you have to do it–your internal rhyme is brilliant here
the master and to ask for–soooo, so good.
.
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